I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. But it wasn't actually getting bigger, it was just getting closer. So I got hit in the face.

Q: How many Babies does it take to paint a garage? A: babies do not have good motor skills therefore, they can not hold a paint brush.

What was funny about the Halocast? Nothing, thousands of innocent people died

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

CALLER: Is your refrigerator running? OWNER: Yes, it's working just fine.

A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

Why did the black man scream in church? He felt like it.

You Scream, I Scream, The cops come, It's awkward

What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

Why wouldn't joey pay attention in class? Because he was being raped by a grizzly bear.

Why did the fat girl stop eating? She wasn't hungry.

What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

do you know what Noah didn't bring on his arc? unicorns

How do you kill a blonde? Stab her with a knife.

What the difference between a black person and a piece of shit in a bucket? The bucket

what does 1 out of 15 people get cancer

Whats louder than a dinosaur? 2 Dinosaurs

Q: How do you make a plumber sad A: you kill his family lolololololololololol

Why did the little boy let go of his balloon? Because I was raping his face.

Why did the man not get his licence He was blind

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

What did John name his dog? Doggy

What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

Why did the little boy fall off his bike? He was hit by a truck.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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