I will grant you one wish, but it sure as hell isn't coming true!

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What do you call a person who hammers a nail into his forehead? A dumbass.

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Dont listen to your heart all it dose is BEAT BEAT BEAT

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I used to be into necrophilia, bestiality, and sado-masochism; but then I realized I was just beating a dead horse.

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The diamond one below is hilarious.

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Call me for a good time! 402-805-2412, I do anal!;) -Martini Wyant

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what did the doctor say to the wery fat man? you have diabetes

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom , and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom. Ha, joke is on you because Americans don't pee.

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What did Hitler say to Mussolini? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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What's funny about a small child with no arms, no legs? Nothing.. Nothing at all.

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Chuck Norris' beard takes 1st 2nd and 3rd in the most impressive beard catagory. He was the only contestant.

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Why does the same anti-jokes pop up over and over again? Because people have no creativity.

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: "There goes my income. I dont know how I'll support my family now, or keep my crops alive."

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Why did the little girl pull her hair out? She didn't, It's a side-effect of the chemotherapy.

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What did the horse say to the man? The man woke up from his dream so he didn't know either

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Terminator XXXIVXXX Regensisysydioniosis. Watch as the terminators return in this year`s summer blockbuster, they return to a time before the birth of Connors grandfather and manage to destroy the world, then the only decision left is for humanity in another timeline to travel back as the terminators are destroyed, but they travel back again so that! But that wont happen before Terminator: Los Pollos Hermanos.

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swag

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knock knock whose there? you have AIDS

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!

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Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? Three bee stings. Whats worse than three bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Four bee stings.

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Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

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One day 2 people were gonna fight after school and the final bell wrung then they started the mtch and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing that you say when you don't want to fight and ypu let the other person win?" The other guy says, "I give up?" Then the challenger says, " I WIN!!!"

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a serial-rapist with links to the Black Dragon triad. Yee.

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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