- Anti Joke

When will Abe Vigoda be alive again? Never. There will never again be a time when Abe Vigoda will be alive. For example, Abe Vigoda will be dead for the entirety of the year 2038. He will continue to be dead if we move forward to the year 2091, and even if we keep jumping forward throughout history, stopping in the years 2250, 2871, and 3546, we will not land in an era when Abe Vigoda will be alive. Another way to look at this is to imagine Abe Vigoda had died in earlier years. Let's say he had died in 1902. Would he be alive today? The answer, sadly, is no. We get the same answer if we suppose Abe Vigoda had died in 1822, 1715, or ~ 85,200,000 BPE. To sum up, it is not precisely accurate to say that Abe Vigoda will be dead for a very long time. That implies a limit on the amount of time he will be dead. There is no limit.

A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

Yo momma was so ugly that everybody died.

There once was an old lady who lived in a shoe. She had so many children, her vagina fell off.

What do you call a snooker cue that only hits stripes? Anything you want, it can't hear you.

roses red violets blue my name chad i stupid

When SCUBA diving, why is it important to fall backward off the side of the boat? Because if you fell forward, you would still be in the boat.

Jerry: Why arent you talking to me Seth? Seth then explains using sign language that he was born mute and is offended that Jerry keeps forgetting. Then Jerry uses sign language to say" **** off i have alzheimers!"

A man asks a young boy to get in his van. The kid, being very well-educated tells the man he cannot talk to strangers. So, the man tells the kid he understands, and drives away to another nearby child.

Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

A duck, a goose, a turkey and a bald eagle were all flying together. All four of them were shot and killed by drunk hunters with machine guns. The hunters were promptly arrested by police authorities for shooting their national symbol. They were found guilty, and the other three birds were cooked for their last meals.

How does Hitler tie his shoes? with little Nazis!

Q: How do you make Osama Bin Ladin happy? A: Take him out to a nice seafood dinner free of charge.

what's worse than pie? alot of things.

Who is stupid and no one likes him. Me. :(

Why did Susie fall off the swings? Because she was hit by a truck.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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Holocaust jokes suck. Anne frankley, I won't stand for them

How did the chicken get to the other side? He crossed the road.

What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table has legs.

Why was johnny so good at reading? Because he had 3. Toes

Why couldn't little sally swim? Because she had weights on her ankles.

69...you know how awkward this is now...

Why did Sally's ice cream melt? She was on fire.

Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?? Cause he got hit by a bus.