How much does a polar bear weigh? about 900 pounds

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what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

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what happened to the chicken who crossed the road he didn't realize that the light was green

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Roses are red..... violets are blue...... I have a gun get in the van

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew. The pizza doesn't scream in the fire

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I fear I do, maybe someone fooled you, but that was originally one of my aliases.

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Oh NOES! She does worry about me! YOU MUST APOLOGIZE! Relax, the body has two sources of happy drugs, one is the sweet calm stuff I am really bad at, and the other comes with adrenaline and stuff, the name of which I do not remember, both are important, but yeah, I am a thrill seeker, and when I do not find them, I make a thrill out of whatever I got, whatever that means.

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Do you know why, when geese fly south for the winter, one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

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Why did the blond cross the road? The police officer who arrested her for shoplifting parked his car on the other side of the street.

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Robin, get in the car!

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What was the only thing the little boy from tanzania had? AIDS.

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What did Justin beiber get for Christmas? A dildo.

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Your mother is so fat that occasionally she'll have more than one serving of preserves on her toast in the morning

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took my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry

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What happens when you turn the TV on? You watch it.

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A baby walks into a bar and the bartender says.... Where is your mom?

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Why did the man lose the spelling bee? He was mentally retarded and had no friends.

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What's brown and smells like shit? My boxers.

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whats worst then antijokes? the holocaust

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why did the chicken cross the road? it didnt it got hit by a bus.

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What do you call a black man that is wearing a suit? Whatever his name happens to be

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have some pints then leave to do their respective tasks for the day.

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Lasers are red, Tasers are blue, and I will use them, to kill you!

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look im not better than you, your a ten im a two your a queen im a fool you got looks i got scares u got talent i got beuty to its a win win

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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