Betty wanted to see time fly so she threw her alarm clock out the window. Shortly after, her mother grounded her as it was quite expensive and she had become less punctual without it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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A German and an American walk into a bar. George W. Bush got hurt, but Albert Einstein didn't.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

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When it comes ro the zodiac my grandmother was a cancer and... She ws killed by... A giant crab

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What do you call a middle-eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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A: Knock Knock.. B: Who's there? A: John B: John Who? A: Shut the hell up, i'm masturbating.

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what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

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Why was the Africanan boy hungry? Because food is hard to come by in Africa.

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There's a blind man walking on the south coast of England. He walks off a cliff.

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Q: why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: He had no arms Q: Why couldn't he get up? A: He died when he hit the ground

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how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

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What do you get when you see a black man writing? A man devoted to getting a education.

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Q: Whats more funny than a pile of dead babies? A: The one in the center eating its way out

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What did the black man say when he jumped in the pool? The water's nice, you should join me.

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Can you get me a stapler,but make sure it has staples or else I won't be able to staple anything

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Why did whitney Houston become a drug addict? Because she made some very bad decisions in her life.

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My dog dumps in my house she looks at me and says rut row

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

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What do you call a calculator without a brain? A calculator.

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They say that there's more than one way to skin a cat...so far iv only found the one.

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Q: Who was the most famous French skeleton? A: Napoleon bone-apart.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops