Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was late for its laser bypass surgery.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why was David enjoying his cream of mushroom soup? Because David had spent the last 17 days eating flouescent light fix-ins.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

David walks into a bar. Someone shoots him. Now hes dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Q: Why was the american flag red, white, and blue? A:Because that's how it is!

thumb_up thumb_down -40

If you just read this, You're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pig, because even if a pig could learn karate its still a pig.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

How do you make a blonde go 'ewwwww'? Hand her a moose placenta.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What is worse than torturing, "forcibly penetrate" and then slowly and painfully kill nine billion people? The Holocaust?

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Who looks like a bird and can fly to hogwarts? Dean McKee. his scar is f u c k i n g rotten

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What starts with 'd' and ends in 'ick'? dick -XH

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Knock knock Who's there? It's me It's me who? It's me who is knocking the door

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Why was the chocolate black? It's not black you idiot, its white

thumb_up thumb_down -44

why did the boy fall off his bike? because his mum through a fridge at him

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Der Ter-Rerks, nern ter serrentersts ers "Terernerserers Rerks", wers er dernerser dert lerved ern der Certersers perrerd. Ert wers er mert erter, prering ern smerler, plernt-erterng dernersers serch ers herdrersers ernd serrerperds. Ert erser hernterd der herned herberver Tersererterps, werd erverderns erf ferts ferned ern der ferserlersed rermerns.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

What will you never see? A white Guy that can jump.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

two guys r talking and the one said *i swear to god* and the other one said *u swear what to god what the hell r u talking about i dont even know u*

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Why was the little boy sad? Because he was raped.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

A fake pizza delivery guy goes to a party and tries to deliver DiGornios pizza in another companys pizza box. The party host calls the police and the guy gets charged for stealing another companys uniform and impersonating a pizza palace worker. He had to return the uniform.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

A man falls out of a boat. What happens next? Well, you would think he'd know how to swim, but due to his alzheimer's he didn't, so he drowned.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Q: Why did the Westboro Baptist Church picket the gay marine’s funeral? A: Homosexuals are a plague sent by Satan to destroy the fabric of America.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What did the doctor say to his patient? You have AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

why did amelia earhart get lost? because she was a woman

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What do you call a Mexican that sails a ship? A sailor

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops