So, you got to take medications daily or die? Are you in pain my dear?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The first line is spelled wrong, Ha, I tricked you

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wanna hear a joke? me niether.

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Carlos was on the computer writing anti-jokes. They all scuked.

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i look around to find that my air head is missing, i then figure out that i had eaten it.

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and act like it's original because I changed one word*

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What is long and painful? It's a sword, get your mind out of the gutter.

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I had a terrible childhood. My mom abandoned me before I was born.

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what do you call a fish with no gills? Dead

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How do you scare a lawyer? Threaten to kill his family.

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what do You call a white man killing a black man? a accident

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Knock knock Fuck off!

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse replies "my whole family was killed in 911... And I used the money I got from life insurance to get plastic surgery to always have a smile on my face. My doctor botched the surgery, so now my face is elongated. Even for a horse, of course."

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Q: What's the difference between an Indian and a Trampoline. A: You take your shoes off to jump on a Trampoline.

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Your mother is so obese that she has over the recommended daily calorie intake on a regular basis.

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Why did blonde cross the road? She needed to get to work.

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A stranger pulls up next to a little boy walking home from school. The stranger offers the boy a ride home. The boy says yes, gets in the car, and is driven home as promised

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why was the boy sad? there was a frog stapled to his face.

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he was laughing so hard at the man who farted and burped at the same time.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Two Holocaust Whats worse that two Holocaust? Dane Cooks Comedian act

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friend' Knock Knock! you; no one home go away

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Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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