Do you play piano? No

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What is the difference between 1 and 2? 2 is a higher number than 1.

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Why was lady crying? Because her ten yer old son died of cancer..

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What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

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Q: What do you call a cow with no legs? A: Lunch.

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So my friend told me to go shot myself I got my Canon and shoot myself The image came out very clean and profession.

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Why did the kid lay down? Because his legs were chopped off

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A guy is at a party and he's really thirsty, so he goes to get a drink. He goes to get some soda, but the line is too long. He goes to get some water, but the line is also too long. He goes to get some punch, and it turns out there's no punch line.

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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Some people are like Slinkies: they don't work as well as they say they will and you'll get bored of them quickly.

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What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock, whos there? Not sally

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Why did Julie fall off a swing? 'Cause she had no hands. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Julie, that's certain.

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What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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whats wores than eating a vag. a gaint vag eating you.

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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Why did the fat girl stop eating? She wasn't hungry.

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Hypothermia

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Why did the girl fall off of the swings? Because I threw a refrigerator at her.

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Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

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A jew walk's into a bar. But actually it was a Gas chamber.

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It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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