Why couldn't dracula's wife get to sleep? She had insomnia.

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One orphan said to the other, 'what are your parents called'

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A girl walks into a bar. She's a lesbian.

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Hair

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This guy walks up to the bartender, and says to him, " ill bet you $100 that i can piss in this cup from 20 ft away." The bartender laughs, thinking hes gonna get an easy 100 bucks. he says "ok, u do that and ill watch." the guy says "ok but one second." he then walks over to this table full of guys and the bartender see him and them whispering and shaking heads. then the guys walks back over, and says to the bartender, "ok here i go" then he whips out his wang and starts pissing all over the place,all over the bartender, the counter, everywhere but the cup. Meanwhile the bartenders laughing, because he thinks he made some easy money. then the bartender asks the guy for his money and the guy says, "alright one minute." then the guys walks over to the table full of guys and they al start pulling out money and give it to him. so the guy walks over to the bartender and says, "here you are, your 100 bucks" the bartender notices him smileing and says "u just lost 100 bucks why are you happy?" and the guy says, " you see that table full of guys over there? well, i bet them all $500 dollars that i could piss all over you, your counter and all of your things, and that youd not only be happy about it, but youd laugh!!!"

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Why did the women cover up her vaginal area? She was with her friends, queefed, and was extremely self conscious.

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Why did the man burp? Because gases escaped from his stomach and came out of his mouth.

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What did the dog do when it raised its leg? It peed.

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What is the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry Potter escapes the chamber.

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Whats worse than one pregnancy scare... two pregnancy scares...whats worse than two pregnancy scares? being forced to having consensual sex with a grizzly bear.

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Rob Bell

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How do you make a baby cry? You hit it in the face with a hammer.

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Every 60 seconds in Africa. A minute passes.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was A bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy went through chemo. Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't very fuzzy was he?

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What did the peanut butter say to the jelly?

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Why couldn't the woman go grocery shopping? She was paralyzed from the neck down.

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what did the hungry Ukrainian man say to his mother? "? ????? ???????? ?????????? ? ????. ?? ? ??????? ? ??????"

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A person walks into a store. He goes to a worker an asks "were is the potatos?" . The worker says, there on that shelf.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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what did the catholic priest say to the little boy? -probably something about god or jesus because they are in church

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A man walks into a bar, orders a few drinks and becomes drunk. the bartender calls a taxi and the man is driven home.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Commie. Commie who? Commie Johnson. We went to high school together.

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What starts with C and ends with UNT. Ciretrunt

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? it was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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