Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it was born yesterday.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

thumb_up thumb_down

All of these jokes suck. Just saying.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the unintelligent sports jock say to the band geek. Hey.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a man that is half Chinese and half Irish? Whatever you want, he's deaf so he won't be able to hear you anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A bike.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A black guy, mexican, and asian walk into a bar. They leave soon after because they heard the "one about them"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the businessman at work do when he found out his wife was cheating on him? He stayed in his cubicle and continued to work, because he was a diligent, hard-working man.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call it when you eat cheese that's not yours? Stealing.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do an apple and a banana have in common? They are both not cookies

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A Catholic Priest, an Anglican Priest, and a Rabbi were in a train carriage together because they got a package deal to go to a conference on religious tolerance. Good for them.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A woman goes into the supermarket and buys a single banana, a canned meal for one and some ice cream. While paying for her items, the cashier looks up at her and says "I can tell you're single" "Oh yeah? How'd you know?" The woman asks. "Because you're ugly as fuck." Replies the cashier.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's worse than being human? Nothing... No I literally mean nothing at all. Like not being anything?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I met a man today. His name was John.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why was six afraid of seven? A: He just does.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

In Soviet Russia you drive car, because a car driving you would be screwed up.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the snowman melt? It got tired of everyday life and decided that it would be best if he disappeared from society... His name was Dave...

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man said to the bartender "I'll have a H2O, please." His friend said "Yeah, I'll have a H2O too." The bartended wasn't an idiot and was aware that he was in a bar, not a science lab, and handed them both a bottle of H2O. His friend still died.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

o | ,'~'. / \ | ____|_ | '___,,_' .----------------. | ||(o |o)| ( KILL ALL HUMANS! ) | ------- ,----------------' | _____| -' \ '####, ------- /________\ ( ) |) '_ ' ,------|\ _ /_ / | |_\ || /_ /| | o| _\ _|| /_ / | | |\ _\____//' | ( ( | | | (_,_,_,____/ \ _\ | ------| \ _\|_________| \ _\ \__\\__\ |__| |__||__| ||/__/ |__||__| |__||__| |__||__| /__)/__) /__//__/ /__//__/ /__//__/. .' '. '. (_kOs____)____)

thumb_up thumb_down -36

A man walks into a room with a sly grin on his face, "Tom, have I got a joke to tell YOU!" Tom hurriedly shoos Susie into her bedroom and tells her to lock the door and not open it no matter what. Tom turns to the man, "I've told you twice before to never come back here, I'm beginning to think that you probably don't take what I say very seriously because you might have some sort of chemical imbalance or something in your head, or maybe you're obsessed with my family or something!" The man hangs his head in shame and agrees with Tom, but Tom still had to do something about the intruder so he called the cops. The cops took him to get psychologically analyzed, but Tom didn't know this because he only cared that his daughter Susie was safe and he also doesn't have access to the testing facility's records. Tom is an only father.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Roses are red Violets are blue I have multiple personalities So do I

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What's red, white, and black, and spins around? A kitten in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -46

What did Obama do when he heard of Bin Ladins death? He informed the nation of what had happend.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

I love you very much.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops