What's black and white and red all over? An interracial couple in a car crash.

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How many Somalians can you fit in a Shopping trolley? Well rather unfortunately there is a lack of Shopping Centers in Somalia due to its corrupt government and its general poverty in comparison to a 1st world country, needless to mention the civil wars. I would guess 7 though.

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Have you heard the one about the drunk cleaning lady? I haven't either but I bet it is good. That is a pretty good premise for a joke.

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Johnny just finished his pie.

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What do you get when an Alabama and an LSU kid are mixed?A small child who grows up in a world of fighting and domestic violence.

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If Pythagoras was racist, he would have made hypotenuses.

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A Muslim, a Jew, a Christian, and an Atheist are eating at the same table. They are friends, and they do this from time to time.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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An Irishman walks into a bar and orders a Coke.

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Why did lady gaga set her alarm? So she could get up in the morning.

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once there was a man named steve. he happily sniffs pot every day after work. especially on sundays. one day, his family finds him sniffing pot. they are disgusted and disappointed in his bad decisions. so they join him

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Why did the black guy get arrested? Homicide.

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What's the problem with blonde people? They don't have black hair.

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What is the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry Potter escapes the chamber.

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How did the old man climb the hill? He didn't.

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How do you make a baby cry? You hit it in the face with a hammer.

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Why did the man smile at his wife? Because she had a silly looking face, like a fish.

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Two girls were sitting quietly. Badum tss

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

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A three legged dog walks into a saloon. He is quickly removed, as it was an establishment for humans and not for dogs.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Commie. Commie who? Commie Johnson. We went to high school together.

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Q: Why don't blind people skydive? A:Because it is scary

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If Vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Probably both plant life, sea-based creatures, and land-based animals. However, depending on the personal preference of the person, they can also be a vegetarian or not. They could also be cannibals, but the literal definition of humanitarian would go against any cannibalistic traditions due to the fact that humanitarians help others for the benefit of humanity as a whole, eating people would go against such beliefs.

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Tiger Woods is an American professional golfer whose achievements to date rank him among the most successful golfers of all time and Santa Claus is a very jolly fellow who brings gifts to the homes of the good children during the late evening and overnight hours of Christmas Eve.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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