8=>

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How did Peter Parker tell his uncle that he was Spiderman? He didn't because he was already dead.

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Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A live one at the bottom.

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Why did the dog run away from home? His house burned down and his owners were killed.

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how many fish does it take to turn on a lightbulb None, lightbulbs dont work in the ocean

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What do you call a man with no legs? A paraplegic.

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Why did man push another man off of a building? Because he is a homocidal maniac and should be in federal prison

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Why did Hitler cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Why do Chinese people smell? Because of their ethnicity...plus, they smell.

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Q: what do you call an icy road? A: dangerous

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what do you call someone that is dying of malaria? someone that should consider visiting a doctor.

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Q: What is worse than loosing your arms? A: Dying

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there are two hicks named Billy Bob and Joe. Billy Bob decides to go to college so he goes to sign up for classes. The Dean of the school decides to help him out and tells him he will be taking math, writing, and logic. Billy Bob is okay with the math and writing but then asks "what the hell is logic?" The Dean thinks for a moment and then says "Okay for example, do you have a weedwacker?" Billy Bob says "yeah i got a weed wacker" so then Dean says "So that probably means you have a yard." Billy Bob goes "yeah i got a yard" So the Dean says "so if youve got a yard you've probably got a house." Billy Bob goes "hell ya i got a house!" The Dean says "and if youve got a house that probably means you've got a wife." Billy Bob goes "ya! i got a wife" so the Dean says "If you have a wife then that means you are heterosexual" and Billy Bob goes "of course im heterosexual!" So the Dean goes "See Billy Bob, thats logic." Amazed by this, Billy Bob goes back to Joe and starts to tell him about his classes. He explains he will be taking math, writing and logic. Joe is confused so he asked Billy Bob "what the hell is logic!?" Billy Bob thinks for a moment and goes "okay how can i explain this....okay joe, do you have a weed wacker?" and Joe responds "no Billy Bob i dont got a week wacker..." Billy Bob: "I KNEW YOU WAS A HOMOSEXUAL!"

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why are elephants gray? to tell them apart from blueberries.

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What's worse than being a replacement? An insufficient replacement.

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Shit.

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A man asked a friend at work if he could have $100, his friend replied "sure I'll give it to you when pigs fly", that man never received $100 dollars from his friend.

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A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

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How did Hellen Keller's parents torture her? They made her go to bed when she wasn't very sleepy

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot turned into a loaf of bread.

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A Mexican and a black person both jump off a bridge, who hits the water first? Neither, as all matter falls at the same rate, regardless of weight, size, or ethnicity.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A Kinect

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Why did the chicken cross the park? To get to the other slide.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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