Why did the chicken cross the park? To get to the other slide.

how do you reunite the beatles 2 bullets

What did I say when I fell of THEEeEeeeeeeee...

What did the man say to his wife before they went to bed? Goodnight.

how do you wash clothes in the diswasher? you turn it on.

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender brings him the beer, and the man drinks it. Then the man dies in a car crash while driving back to his family

Why did the girl fall off the swing set? Because she had no arms.

If I have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5, we both have the same monetary value.

Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Tulips are red, And my garden is red. OMG...MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE

Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red Fences are red OMG MY FENCE IS ON FIRE!

Why can't Tommy the T-Rex clap? Because dinosaurs have been extinct for 65 Million years.

why did the boy drop her ice cream? -he got hit by a bus

DANA

look at there!! an entire dog!!

Why do people often give Jimmy strange looks? Because Jimmy has Down Syndrome

Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is too sparsely populated and not economically viable.

What do you call 400 black men rolling down a hill? 400 black men rolling down a hill.

How many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 50 in the ashtray.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs wearing lead weights in a pool? Screwed.

Why did the priest renew his...SHIT, A BEAR!!

So there's this cup that I own... I use it to aid in the drinking of my hot or cold beverages.

cheese

Why is Chuck Norris' beard so great? because he grooms it daily.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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