Why was grandma lying on the floor? She just died of lung cancer.

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A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

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How do you keep a woman entertained? A delightful romantic comedy

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How do you kill a blue elephant, with a blue elephant gun, how do you kill a pink elephant, you strangle it until it turns blue and shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Q:What do you call a dog with no legs? A:It doesnt matter he's not gonna come

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How many jews can you fit in a buick? 6...only if you squeeze 4 in the back.

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Yo mamma is so hairy that she had to shave

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What did the cow say to the farmer? 'Moo.'

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there was an owl, she had a baby, threw up, then died

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Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because Santa doesn't exist.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Dead.

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Why do giraffes have long necks? Evolution.

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What do you get when you put a dead baby and some nails in a blender? A dead baby and some nails

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what is white and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? a refrigerator.

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AROUND

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why did helen keller fall down the stairs A; i pushed her

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What's the difference between roast soup and pea beef? Nothing because neither of them are physically possible; you can't roast soup and you can't pee beef

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

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What did the boy with no legs and no arms get for Christmas? Cancer.

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yo momma's so stupid that she can't support your family, because she can't get a steady job, meaning she does not have money to pay the bills or buy food. This also means you must now get food from your local food bank and sleep on the streets.

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99% of guys are hot. The other 1% go to my school.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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What's green and eats rocks? A green rock-eater.

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Your mom is so fat that her BMI is in the morbidly obese column.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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