What did the vegetarian eat for christmas? Food.

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What do you call a man that is half Chinese and half Irish? Whatever you want, he's deaf so he won't be able to hear you anyway.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is a woman

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Why couldn't Helen Keller read? She was blind

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How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them

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Let's write an anti-joke. K.

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Why are haikus dumb Because they are just stupid Get it a haiku It is a haiku hashaha

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Yo momma is so dumb she... oh god, i'm so sorry, she was driving and she just looked down at her cellphone and there was a red light and all the cars were coming she didn't even stop oh god i'm so sorry.

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what happened to the man who ran straight into a brick wall he bounced off it, fell back, stumbled. he lifted his head up, looked at it, put his arm to his head. got up, groaned, dusted himself down, and walked towards the pub.

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Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

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dildo

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I have no joke. u mad?

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What is yellow and sleeps alone? Yoko Ono.

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Johnny just finished his pie.

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knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant

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Why did the plain crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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Lilys are from england violets from japan. I've got a knife now get in the van

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son, you're adopted.

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Why did the man burp? Because gases escaped from his stomach and came out of his mouth.

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What’s the best part about winning a gold medal? Nothing. You’re on acid and staring straight at the sun.

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A basket full of puppies can do anything, except put out a fire.

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A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says "get out you jew!" The bar tender apparently was a Nazi.

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Two jews walk into a bar. They laugh over a beer and leave

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A man walks into kindergarden class with a beer. He then gets arrested.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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