How do you get Suzy to get off the swing? Ask her to move.

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What do you call a bookstore with explosive offers? Barnes and Cher-Noble.

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They all gone.

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roses are red, violets are fine, you be the six, and I'll be the nine.

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so a black guy, an asian, and a scott are sitting at a bar, they drink responsibly, pay their tab, and leave. The evening couldn't have been more pleasant.

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What did one saggy boob say to the other one? Better perk up or they'll think we're nuts.

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your momma so fat.... that as she walked by....... i missed 3 commercials

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what happened to the little kid on a bicycle? Nothing

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Did I say twenty times? I meant two hundred, you already know this I gather, but your subconcious understands mathmatics and multiplications at a whole different level because its potential is indefinite.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a beer, then suddenly dies of a heart attack.

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Knock knock knock OCD

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why did the elephant cross the road? it was the chickens day off.

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Have you seen the newest starwars? What movie? I mean that episode where stars fight... Will Smith vs Keanu Reeves? I am talking about the stars in the sky firing at each other! You know, those star pilots on planes... Flown by Will Smith and Keanu Reeves? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! (You heard that one in your head)

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Did you hear the one about the spoon and the dis running away while the cow jumped over the moon, IMPOSSIBLE! eating material such as the spoon and dish are inanimate objects, and cows cant jump for they weigh from 600 to 1000 lbs.

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knock knock who's there? nobody. then why are you knocking?

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Why did the man walk into the grocery store? Because he had run out of peanut butter

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How do you make a grown man cry? Fling a rubber band at him.

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What did one fetus say to they other fetus? Nothing they were aborted.

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Two blonds walk into a building....they couldnt see it.

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Yo momma stank so bad, she might have a serious vaginal infection. You should take her to the hospital.

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Why did the chicken cross the road To walk back

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What is the difference between a calendar and you? A calendar has dates!!

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? Hi!

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What did the home-less man eat for dinner last night? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops