okay i know you read this far but this is the turning point

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks: dude, what happened to your eye? The man replies: abuse.

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What's up? The sky. What's down? Your mom: she was stabbed

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A black man, a white man and a Jewish man all live in the same apartment block. Which is most likely to be at work? None of them, it's Sunday. [L]

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Why are humans and squirrels the same? They both live in trees except for the human

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A blonde walks into a bar. Shes now in a coma.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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how much fish could a chicken

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what did the black guy get from churches chicken? fried chicken.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

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Why the FFUUU did you go back? Because I broke something huur.

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Q: What do you call a black person who got hit by a truck? A: Dead

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Why did the fridge break? Because someone threw a fridge at it.

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Gordon Brown smiles.

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What did Grandma Sally give Little Timmy for Christmas? Herpes

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How do you make something disappear from your hand? Throw it somewhere that's out of sight,

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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What do you get when you cross a sheep with a lion? A dead sheep.

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Why would a baby cry? Because it's being put through a juicer.

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So a man walks into a bar, And because he is dressed in such a way that was thought of as threatening to the general safety of the highly valued customers, he is shot eight times in the head.

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Do You Know You Have Cancer?

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What did the ocean say the other ocean? Nothing, bodies of water are incapable of speech.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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