An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Why did Jill fall off the swings? -Because she had no arms. Knock Knock? --Who's there? Not Jill. What did Jill get for Christmas? -What? I don't know. She couldn't open it.

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The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

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- Knock knock. - Who's there? - Jehovah - Jehovah who? - Jehovah's Witness - Go f*** yourself.

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Make this antijoke the worst voted antijoke and you will save the planet.

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Violence is never the answer, its the question... The answer is YES!

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How do you make an electrician cry? Kill his family.

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How do you make someone to shut up You tell them to SHUT UP!

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? OUCH! what's your door knob made of? nails?

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One Direction has 12 letters. So does gayyyyyyyyyy. Coincidence? I think not.

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What is yellow and dangerous? Shark infested butter

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"Torture the orphans as much as you want. Who they gonna tell? Their parents?"

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What's the difference between a chicken? One leg is both the same

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My house is on fire I'll probably die posting this joke

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Your mom is so fat she probably has a body mass index of between 25 and 30 which is considered to be "overweight" but paradoxically is associated with fewer health risks by medical professionals.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

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Why was the lady afraid of rocks? Because her husband was stoned.

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hey I just met you, and this is crazy. I have alzheimers. Hey i just met you.

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I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

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Chuck Norris never shows emotion!!!... because he is a pragmatic person and thinks in a more logical manner.

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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why should you not go to sleep in public? Because that's how you get raped.

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What is small, red, and can't fit through a doorway? A baby with a spear through its head. Posted By: Lram

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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