what do you say when your phone is broken? A: my phone is broken

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Q. What you call a Guy with no arms an no legs in the water? A. Bob

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A blonde and a brunette were hanging onto the edge of a cliff for dear life. The brunette somehow found the strength to climb back up. The blonde was impressed, but had muscular dystrophy so she slipped and fell to her death.

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My father stole my mothers heart, he's in jail for murder

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What Did Gretel say to Hansel? Stop having sex with Ariana Grande!

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Hello. my name is Rhys. and i'm the only person who liked this post.

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Sigh, everybody in the world hates me :( Moral: Seven billion people? Realy?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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"Doctor, Doctor, Help I feel like a pair of curtains" "I've got some cream for that".

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? - Probably about 5 or 6, depending on the car.

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What's black, blue, red, green, white, purple, orange, yellow, etc.? Last I checked, a bunch of colors

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What do call a fly with no legs? Dead

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How did the the the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glove compartment.

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Paper or plastic? Yes...

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Why did the kid lose his mom? She was shot.

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Did you hear the one about the pizza and the salamander? Neither did I.

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Q. Why did the lotion soothe the person's skin? A. Because its ingredients were selected because of their propensity to soothe skin.

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-Knock! Knock! -Who's there? -Bob. Is Brian's here? -Wrong adress. Brian's home is the first one at your right. -Oh sorry. Have a nice day.

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Did you hear about the man hear about the man who lost an arm and a leg in a car accident? He's alright now.

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Your mother is so fat because she inherited poor genes and dietary habits from her own parents.

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why did the plane crash because the pilot was a tomato

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A man walks out of a bar. Gets in his car and crashes because drunk driving isn't safe.

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm allergic to both Now I'm dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops