My Penis is so big. How big is it? If you lay my penis down beside another similarly lengthy object, approximately 10" long, it would most likely surpass the length of the object you chose to measure it to.

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Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Nothing. He celebrates Kwanzaa.

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Why did they save the man in a burning building? To arrest him for arson.

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What's the difference between an elephant & a toaster? ....you can't tell the difference between an elephant & a toaster??

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What's worse than getting raped? getting raped by a horse in car while listening to nickelback

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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How many members of Coldplay can you fit in a mini? 4, as there are 4 members of Coldplay.

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what is the worst thing a priest could do to a little boy? brutally murder him

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why did the boy drop his ice cream? he had no hands

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What's big and green and would probably kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table.

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Mother Mary held her daughter 20 minutes under water. Not to save her from her troubles, just to see the funny bubbles

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What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

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what is the worst thing to find out about for wife she is your arm

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what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

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What do the Irish do on their birthdays? Eat birthday cake and sing happy birthday

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...................__ ............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸ ........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\ ........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...') .........\.................'...../ ..........''...\.......... _.·´ ............\..............( BroFist

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The funniest thing happened the other day, it was like one went like this, and the other went like that, and then everyone laughed... ...Oh, its one of those where you would have had to be there to see how funny it was.

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a man walks into a bar and buys a drink

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Patient: I thonk I'm gonna die Doctor: well will ya hurry up and die already? I've got to treat a kid with a paper cut.

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Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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What do you call a black man eating dessert? A man of African ancestry enjoying a sweet treat.

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

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why did the Mexican take $20, because he found it on the ground

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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