Q: What did the vomiting man say to his friend? A: BLEEEAAARRRGGHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to his wife? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the waiter in the restaurant? A: BLAAAAAARGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Leonardo DiCaprio? A: BLEEEEAAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the convenience store clerk? A: BLAAAAAARRRGGGGHHHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to your mom? A: BLAAAARRRGGGHH!!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Barack Obama? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGHHHH!! Q; What did the vomiting man say to the King of Saudi Arabia? A: BLAAAAAAAAAAAEEEAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the bartender? A: BLLLEEEEAAAARRGHHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the funeral home director? A: BLLLEEEAAAARRRGGGHHH!!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the duck wear to go swimming? A bathingsuit!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I saw a TV show last night. And it was good.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do u call a woman geometry teacher. Santains wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Roses are red, Violets are blue, STDs are contagious. Careful who you screw!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the chicken cross the road? To look at the most interesting man in the world.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A bar walked into a bar. To get to the other horse.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Your mom is so ugly that she often finds it difficult attracting members of the opposite sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Two men enter a room. Two men and a baby leave the room...

thumb_up thumb_down -24

There is no "i" in "team," but there are two in "indigo."

thumb_up thumb_down -24

whats the difference between a guitar and a fish? A guitar is an instrument used to produce noise and a fish is a living orgnism native to lakes and oceans

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How did the man escape the giant scorpion? He didn't he watched as his family died and waited for his demise crying in the corner of the scorpion's layer

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Mexican? I dont care if you are Mexican or not really, it makes no difference to me, I know you, I seen you before. But seriously, I consider you a good friend and all, and it seems we both get along, but you know after stuff happens, are we still friends then or is this all just a mating game thing for you? You can be honest with me, I am a realist, and I kinda like the idea of,the day after tomorrow, wont deny that. Its just that I dont want to lose a good friend in the process, and if this is just you trying to score, then well, I guess its still nice knowing this side of you.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

My captcha thing says "hulk smash" lol bahahahahahahaha, k

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the man Jump of a bridge? Because he got sick of his life and he wanted to die.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Ok so there were 2 white dudes telling black jokes...so one of the white dudes tells a joke to the other... 1st dude: what's brown and tall? 2nd dude: a tree 1st dude: no that scary black man who looks like he wants to beat us up.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the woman say to the dog? Stop shitting on my carpet your dickhole

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What was the last thing that went through the crashing helicopter pilot's head? The propeller.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot. You racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane where having a bet on who could swim the furthest without getting wet on their hair. The Swede could have done better... The Dane did surprisingly well. The Norwegian, being bald, was disqualified. Moral: I still have some hair left!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

I got drunk last night and woke up in a bed and that's when I saw it. A 400 pound woman was in front of me and I could see the sweat drip down her ass fat and she let out a putrid fart right in my face. It smelt like rotten eggs and cheesy cauliflower. I am horrified.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the chicken cross the road? Maybe because it had escaped from the farm and as it doesn't have full conciousness, it couldn't distinguish between grass and the asphalt, so it happened to cross the road.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

what are you talking about. Nets are terrible. Lakers are going to be the best.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops