My Friend Philip had his lip removed today. he is just Phil now.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Can you spot the polar bear Probably not because global warming killed it

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Q: What do you call a serial killer named Mark? A: Mark.

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The First National Tree Bank just closed down. Don't worry it started a brand new branch.

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What is the difference between Switzerland and Sudan? One is in Europe the other is in Africa

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Why is five afraid of six? Because six seven eight. (Note: The language of numbers is Subject-Object-Verb, rather than Subject-Verb-Object like English.)

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What's worse than strapping 10 dead baibes to a tree? Strapping a dead baby to 10 trees.

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Q: Why is Little Johnny in the hospital with a bullet wound and a broken arm? A: I shot him of his bike.

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Despite their parents wishes, two teenagers under the age of 18 tried multiplying. Their answer was 27.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She technically could have, she was physically able, but cars were not invented yet, and even if they were it is unethical for any humane person to let a blind and def person drive.

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A horse walks into a bar and sits down on a stool. He orders a beer. He drinks his beer and leaves. Life continues on as it was.

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A black man, a gay man, and an Asian woman are sitting at a bar. The black man gets a phone call, and after the call all three of them are excited because they are all friends and the black man just got into a good college.

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What's funnier than British people ? Their tea in the Harbor

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Why did John not like his chocolate? It wasn't chocolate it was poop.

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What did Steve Hagen say to Steve Walters? "We have the same first name."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from KFC.

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What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

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Whats grosser then gross? A dead puppy in a barrel. Whats grosser the a dead puppy in a barrel? A dead puppy in two barrels. Created by : go josh or ty :D

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Two Jews walk into a pub. They don't order a ham sandwich.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

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A dog was dying on the side of the road. I drove 50 meters ahead and saw it again. I was on shrooms.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black Im blind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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