Oh NOES! She does worry about me! YOU MUST APOLOGIZE! Relax, the body has two sources of happy drugs, one is the sweet calm stuff I am really bad at, and the other comes with adrenaline and stuff, the name of which I do not remember, both are important, but yeah, I am a thrill seeker, and when I do not find them, I make a thrill out of whatever I got, whatever that means.

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What do trees and people have in common? If you hit them enough times with an axe they will fall over.

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Why was the little girl crying in the woods at night? There was psychotic killer chasing her with a chainsaw.

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Why did the Little girl fell off the swing? A: Because she had no arms. And why did she fell again? A: Because her parents laugh about it and ride her again.

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I took your mother out for a classy steak dinner. I decided not to call her agian because we weren't very compatible and the conversation was very superficial.

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Pete and repeat are in a boat. Pete kills him self due chronic depression. Repeat laughs his ass off

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Why can't basketball players play hockey? Because hockey and basketball season occur at the same time.

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What did the penis say to the vagina? Cover me, im going in.

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What happend to the dude who couldnt fart He blew up

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Your momma is so fat, that she decided to sign up for weight-watchers, and is now on her way to a healthy life

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Roses are red Violets are blue You are green Curse you!

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What is a gremlin's favorite snack? Gremlins aren't real.

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knock knock... ...no answer

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Your mother is so fat, we needs two fat jokes to adequatly make fun of her.

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What do you do if you walk in on your wife atempting to hang herself in the living room? Ask her to leave the living room, as it would be ironic.

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What do you get if you cross a goat with a horse? Long letters of complaints by animal rights groups

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a white man a black man and an asian man had a few drinks at a bar. they all died from alcohol poisoning

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What is the result of a couples' feud? 96.

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Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.

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An alcoholic walks into a bar. He wakes up the next morning in a jail cell covered in blood. 3rd time this week.

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What's bigger than a breadbox? Whitney Houston's coffin.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? ?? She had just prepared her breakfast and was late for her full-time job as a police officer.

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Hey there, I like bananas! No you don't.

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Your mama so fat That she suffers from heart disease

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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