Pickup line: Hey babe, do you know what time it is? Because I don't wanna be late for class and if you told the time, it will surely help me because I'll be able to arrive early at my class not to mention it would greatly improve my punctuality efforts to help me pass the class this semester. Geez, I remember back in middle school there was a guy name Billy Jones and he used to always be late for class. His name was Billy but we called him Bill. Bill was his nickname but his real name was Billy. Anyways, he was always late for class because he would always make the best barbecue ribs in town.... (45 minutes later...) ....and I told Bill, "Man, if you were to just ask what time it was it would greatly help you in arriving to class early." And he was was like "I know but..."And then I cut him off and I said "But nothing. I don't care what kind of barbecue ribs you make, you just can't do that." So there I was, me and him, sitting down and .... (3 hours later...) ...it was awesome. Boy, I remember back in the early 90's when I was at elementary school, it was a stormy weather and we had to go to class. That's when I met Clarissa. She was a really nice girl and I remember there was a time when... (to be continued....)

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How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None...they can cook in the dark.

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Doctor Doctor I think I'm a dog. Sit down on the couch and tell me about it. Ok.

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How do you fit 4 homosexuals onto a barstool? You make the barstool wider allowing for all the men to sit more comfortably on top of the stool.

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why did the chicken cross the road? He saw his family getting murdered and tried to stop it but got hit in the process

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What did the jewish man say to the Irish guy at the bar? Are you Irish?

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Q: How to fit 10 babies in a suitcase? A: By blender Q: How to get the babies out of the suitcase? A: Using a straw.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died.

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Q: What happens when you throw a glowing purple rock into a bright green stream? A: It makes a splash

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Why did seven eat nine? Because six was afraid of him.

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Two men walk into a bar, get drunk, and drive home. Unfortunately, they crash into a tree and are mortally wounded.

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Q. What do you call a small hen that can't lay eggs properly? A. A small hen that can't lay eggs properly.

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A guy went to McDonalds and asked for a cheeseburger: —Can I have a cheeseburguer? —No

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Anti - Jokes. com

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I forgot the rest, Don't laugh at me...

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What's black, white, and red all over? A lot of things, you just gotta keep your eyes peeled.

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I'm on the Seafood Diet. I eat seafood to replace fatty red meats, in conjunction with fruit and vegetables.

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look at the top of your screen. now look down. I MADE YOU DO THAT

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What did the man say to his wife. Hi

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Q: Whats worse then a minor fender bender? A: Dieing a long painful death by getting stabbed 27 times then getting hit by a car 2 hours later your brother finds you and told you that him and your wife have been cheating on you and your kid is his.

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An Atheist sneezed. Everyone around him said, "God bless you." He thanked them and continued on with his day.

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Why didn't Superman save the people from 9/11? Because he was a quadriplegic.

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Steven hawkings shook my hand

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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