What are the first three words in a Mexican Cook Book? Steal a chicken.

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When you aren't feeling well, you should see a doctor like this: https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS5u4lryU5PzmLUKCGEKZgDWMeQ_96VLEKFGu7Wvk-4M7UXHkOXBw

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I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

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Yep, super duper stressed, all of the time, but how did you know?

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"Doctor, I seem to have a large horn-like growth protruding from my nose". "Well, yes, that is because you are a rhinoceros".

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What did the blonde say when she saw a tan button on her calculator? That must mean tangent.

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How are this and that alike? They aren't.

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Oh NOES! She does worry about me! YOU MUST APOLOGIZE! Relax, the body has two sources of happy drugs, one is the sweet calm stuff I am really bad at, and the other comes with adrenaline and stuff, the name of which I do not remember, both are important, but yeah, I am a thrill seeker, and when I do not find them, I make a thrill out of whatever I got, whatever that means.

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What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, cause they are walls.

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What do trees and people have in common? If you hit them enough times with an axe they will fall over.

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Jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams,heat does.

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I need a sidecart on my motorcycle just for my diick

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting mauled by a pack of hungry wolves

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Yo momma so fat, when she runs she makes the cd played skip, at the radio station!!!

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, You Have A Face That Belongs At The Zoo, Don't Worry I'll Be There With You, Not In The Cage But Laughing At You!!! :D

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God told John to come forth and recieve internal golry forever. John came fifth and recieved a toaster.

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A black man texts his wife to tell her that he is going to be late coming home from work.....Just kidding, pay phones cannot send text messages.

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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jews

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If your yacht is if moving at 50 knots per hour in a wind tunnel how many leprechauns can you fit in a chamber? Even, because purple is attracted to bestiality.

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How do you stop an aboriginal from drowning? Take your foot off his head...

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Why do all asians all look alike? Because they do.

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A thief walks into a bank. He has an account there and withdraws 200 bucks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops