What is pink and smells like tuna? Salmon

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Your mother is so fat that I would call her quite fat indeed.

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There was a Jewish man and a German man why was it akward? Because one of them farted

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I stabbed someone in my garden, There's blood everywhere

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Why did the racist guy die? Because the black guy stabbed him with a fork.

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Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

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Your mom is so fat, that i don't think she's attractive anymore.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Who Who who? Hoodini

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What do you call a seedless pumpkin? A pumpkin.

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Why did the man fall off his bike? Because he wasn't on a bike.

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What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener.

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Why couldn't the white guy tell the two asians apart? They were identical twins.

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What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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Man walks into a hotel on Friday, Stays for three days and leaves on Friday. How is this possible? A. His horses name was Friday

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Why was everyone afraid of Nick Morton? Because he had AIDS

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gilbert Gilbert who? Goddamn it David just open the door

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite. He died the following day.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You already had me chained to the bed. You didn't have to break both of my legs, Kathy Bates."

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Why was the boy afraid? Because he had just seen his dog get ran over by a tractor

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Q: Do you know what's the no.1 cause of pedophellia? A: Sexy kids

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how do you kill a blond? there are many ways but every one of them is illegal and could be criminally chargeable.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops