Why is Jesse so fat? A horse, Because a cow gives milk thus creating pee wee Herman to jack off at an astonishing speed

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A Wii.

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Whats worse than spilling the milk? Getting raped by the easter bunny.

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What's worse than slipping on a banana peel? Amanda Todd's suicide.

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How much does Michael Vick love his dogs? More than Casey Anthony loved her daughter.

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A little girl meets a homeless guy named Ian McDermott in downtown Atlanta She then screams stranger danger and a nearby policeman comes and arrests the man.

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What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

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What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

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How are this and that alike? They aren't.

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what is worse than a guy pissed?

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Knock Knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Your neighbor

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A pope meets another one

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How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

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Man 1: Ask me if im a flower Man 2: "are you a flower?" Man 1: if i was a flower do you think i could talk? man 1 was wondering why man 2 was so uneducated

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Knock,Knock Who's there? Afro Circus Ya get the fuk off my property!

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to take three harpoons to the chest and still manage to feast on a family of baby seals...... Hi my name is Joey

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Why did the Alzheimer's patient fail the history exam? I don't remember.....

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How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just beat it for being black.

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Your're racist.

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How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb? Obviously more than six because my bass meant is still dark.

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Q: What do you call an exact duplicate of Homer Simpson who's been enhanced with numerous special powers and a strength-boosting inducer among other beneficial additions? A: A mobidly overweigth individual who hasn't realized what the phrase, "Go on a diet", even denotes/implies.

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Did you fall from heaven? Because I seem to notice fractures to your knee, spine and a possible permanent risk of poor posture.

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense? You watch a suspenseful TV program and pause at the right moment.

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Whats big, round and orange? A big round orange

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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