I took your mother out for a classy steak dinner. I decided not to call her agian because we weren't very compatible and the conversation was very superficial.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the Little girl fell off the swing? A: Because she had no arms. And why did she fell again? A: Because her parents laugh about it and ride her again.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why was the little girl crying in the woods at night? There was psychotic killer chasing her with a chainsaw.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Pete and repeat are in a boat. Pete kills him self due chronic depression. Repeat laughs his ass off

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What is the result of a couples' feud? 96.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why can't basketball players play hockey? Because hockey and basketball season occur at the same time.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you get if you cross a goat with a horse? Long letters of complaints by animal rights groups

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the penis say to the vagina? Cover me, im going in.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Your mother is so fat, we needs two fat jokes to adequatly make fun of her.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

An alcoholic walks into a bar. He wakes up the next morning in a jail cell covered in blood. 3rd time this week.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Your momma is so fat, that she decided to sign up for weight-watchers, and is now on her way to a healthy life

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's bigger than a breadbox? Whitney Houston's coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are red Violets are blue You are green Curse you!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? ?? She had just prepared her breakfast and was late for her full-time job as a police officer.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

knock knock... ...no answer

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

If you throw a red stone in a blue lake what does it become? Simply a wet stone.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why didn't Avery die when he got hit by a bus? The bus was going three miles per hour.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

If the blue dog falls out of sample object, how many bananas does my mom eat? No, because markers can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Hey there, I like bananas! No you don't.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Your mama so fat That she suffers from heart disease

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

thumb_up thumb_down -16

did you know that zach is the coolest person ever? no? well now you know

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops