Shark week? More like owl week. Hoo!

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Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun? Because leprechauns don't exist.

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ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ now I know my ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ no I know my ABC etc:

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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why did Sallt fall off the swings? she had no arms knock knock who's there not Sally

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Are tomatoes more scary than onions? No. They are not more scary than onions.

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Why did the Taxi crash? The cab driver was trying to remove the frog stapled to his face.

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What is worse than the holocaust? DUH! A worm in MY apple!

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Why did the English man walk into a bar? Do get an alcoholic beverage to temporarily forget the pain of his recent divorce.

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How do you scare Sarah Palin? You chase her around with a chainsaw while wearing a Jason mask.

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Q:what do you call a black man with blonde hair flying a plane? A: A pilot

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. The police who? The band.

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What did the pilot say to the female flight attendant? He told her to never tell his wife about the time they spent in mexico or he'd bludgeon her to death with a hammer.

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whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whroe whore whore whore whroe

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How did the Mexican cross the border? He couldn't he didn't have legs

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Hey! Do you like fishsticks? Me too :)

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Roses are red Violets are blue Does this rag smell Like chloroform to you?

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why did Sally fall off of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there?

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Why is the dog in the driver seat? Why is there birds making you filet mignon? Why is your toe blue? I don't know the answer. Go talk to your doctor

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A man walks into a bar and orders four shots. Before the bartender asks "If it really is that bad of a day". The man says "Yea I need this shit". The next day the bar is overwhelmed with police and investigators. The bartender had emptied a revolver in the tired business man's face and vanished.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A fish didn't walk into a bar, because fish cannot walk.

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If a train leaves Chicago at 50 miles per hour, how hard does the baby strapped to the tracks get splattered?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops