A Muslim walks into a bar He immediatley turns around and leaves as his religious beliefs forbid consumption of alcoholic beverages.

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A horse trots into a bar. He is left with a bump on his head.

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It's red or yellow but most likely grey, and when its hit your eye you are dead? A train :)

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What do you call a woman with two black eyes? Irish sunglasses

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A Hispanic, a Caucasian, and an African American walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this, some kind of a joke?"

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YOU KNOW WHO ELSE LOVED AND NURTURED ME THROUGH MY CHILDHOOD YEARS? MY MOM.

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What's the relationship between a frog and a building? They have nothing to do with each other so stop trying to figure out this query.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue.

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Now that we got our colors straight. Hey, how ya doin?

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Why do cows say moo? Because it's a cow

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a white guy walks into a bar luckily he is not an alcoholic and knows when to safely stop drinking and already gave his keys to a friend.

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what's black and white and red all over? nothing... it's red

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What do you do if you see a cat crossing the street? Hit it of course!

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Q: Why didnt jim win the race ? A: Because he swalowed his tounge.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because her grandfather hit her with a wrench.

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How many dyslexic people does it take to ruin Christmas? One, because they murdered you mother on your birthday.

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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Why did tigger look in the toilet? Because he is being treated in a mental institution and eats his own fecal matter.

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civil rights

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How do you give a cold sore to catnip? Because he needed lemon juice

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Whats better than 1 person in your oven? 9 people in your oven.

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Roses are red Violes are blue I am hot How bout you?

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what did the pumpkin muffin say to the blueberry muffin? nothing, because muffins can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops