How did the little boy die? A speeding moving truck took a sharp turn, the locks on the doors broke open and a huge office desk flew out and crushed the boy.

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Q: You know why the floor is so clean? A: Because the janitor puts a lot of hard work into it.

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Winning two gold medals.

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Why did the man scream? He got shot in the eye with a nail gun.

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Why cant the guy drink his beer Because he hasnt opened it yet

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Why was there no girl on the swing set? She decided to get off of the swings.

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What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

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a man walked into a bar, sat down and had a drink with his friends.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor Wheres my tractor?

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How do you make a nerd cry? Give him a 99% on a test.

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So I picked my nose while peeing, and it fell in the toilet so I didn't have to wipe it on anything. This is more of a story I wanted to share than a joke

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A stoner walks into a bar. A few minutes later he is asked to leave by the bartender because he is disruptive and uncoordinated. The stoner leaves because conflict is not in his nature.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Shark week? More like owl week. Hoo!

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What is worse than the holocaust? DUH! A worm in MY apple!

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How do you put 100 kids on a girls face ? skeet

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She got shot in the head by her drunk step-dad.

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what happens when chuck norris loses his hokey-bar? your mother

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why did the cow say baaaaa ? it was a stupid cow

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Are tomatoes more scary than onions? No. They are not more scary than onions.

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a man walked into a bar. the bartender asked why he was annoyed. he answered " people keep on telling this joke and I'm tired of the making me get drunk

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What did the cop say to the speeding black man? "Can I see your license and registration?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops