What's worse than a wet sock? Being molested as a child.

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What's the difference between a lamp?

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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Q.What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, no head, and no blood in his body? A.Dead.

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What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

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A Jew was walking home one night when two thugs leapt out of the darkness and demanded his money and other possessions at gunpoint. A reflection of how dangerous our streets can be at night.

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Q: whats the difference between a shoe and a ginger? A: shoes have soles.

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whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

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Why did the family sue disney? Because at a meet and greet location mickey mouse shot their youngest in the heart.

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Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

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what do you call a black man in the bank holding a bag of money. One wealthy man

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There not the girl

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Why did Jim not go to the park and play football with his Dad today? His dad got hit by a bus and lost his legs

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Q. What's yellow and looks like a duck? A. a baby duck

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Why did Tim fall out of the window? Well... he didn't exactly fall... I pushed him

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whats better than a girl getting hit by a car? a girl getting hit by a car with my dick in her

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Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

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But that just reinforces the negative stereotype that women don't have penises.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who's driving? The taxi driver.

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A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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