roses are red, violets are blue, if ruddell was black, he would smell of poo.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? The Porsche isn't in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car. A. Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was six afraid of seven? Well...here's how it went. It was a rainy Sunday evening. Seven felt like he wasn't cared for and unneeded. Two and Four tried talking to him, but that might have set him off. I just left a deli with my friend Three, and as soon as we leave, I see Seven, with a 45 to his head speeding down the alley. Causing mass commotion, he careens to the right a split second before hitting pedestrians. At the sight of that, I knew he was still in control. I call him on my smartphone and tell him to "Relax, park, and I'll meet you in a minute." I run up the side of the pickup, and lean in on the window. He pulls it down and I tell him that it isn't over, and that we DO care for him. One, Five, and Ten were run over though. Oh, and Seven ate Nine too. He was depressed when he did it.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats worse than the Holacaust? Stepping on damn Lego's. MrBounty44

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A baby crawls into a bar. He cannot walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the African American man afraid of dogs? He had a terrible childhood memory of being violently dry humped by a german shepherd.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

So, there's a black man, an Asian man and an Irishman who are in a bar, politely discussing wether the Asian's phone would break if it was thrown from a plane in the Pacific Ocean. The black man says "Of course it would break." The Irishman says "I have no opinion on this..." The Asian man says "I think it would break, you are right John." Suddenly, a man enters.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many mentally challenged beings does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well one couldn't do it so adding more to the equation will only make it worse sir.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Two guys walk into A bar. The third one ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What would happen if Chuck Norris was hit by an Astroid A: He would die.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

a duck wanted grapes. he didnt get any

thumb_up thumb_down +8

An overweight person falls down the stairs.. They had to be taken to A&E as they suffered very serious injuries.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was Tommy late for school? He got raped by spiderman.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why can't february march Because april may

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why barack obama sad he realized the 4 trillion dollars of debt wasn't going be solved by borrowing more money

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

The next person to submit a 'roses are red' 'joke', is cursed to always prematurely ejaculate from here until eternity

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do u kill a gay man? Shoot him in the head

thumb_up thumb_down +6

MURRRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

whats the same between a mouse and an elephant? They are both small except for the elephant

thumb_up thumb_down +6

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? the holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red My name is Dave This poem doesn't make sense Potato

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops