Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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2 men walk into a bar, the 3rd man ducks and ask them if they're ok

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A man wakes up after only one hour of sleep due to his insomnia. He starts to cry because his wife just passed away and his parents were recently killed in a car accident. The man gathers his composure, takes a shower, and drives to his minimum wage job. He was expelled from high school for an assault he didnt even commit and has no money to get an education. At work, he accidentally drops a box of valuable, fragile electronic parts and gets fired by his boss. He goes home to his dirty 1 bedroom apartment and contemplates suicide. He decides to wait as his favorite tv show is on. He turns on the tv to the news his show has been cancelled. The man, depressed, suicidal and alone, picks up his .22 and kills himself. There is no God.

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Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

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Flowers are colors Love me

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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There are two jews in an oven. One says "It sure is hot in here" and the other says "AHH A TALKING JEW"

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When you wish upon a star... You are only seeing the light of that star, which has taken billions of years to travel here. The star that you are looking at has most likely dead, Just like your dreams.

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A: Knock Knock.. B: Who's there? A: John B: John Who? A: Shut the hell up, i'm masturbating.

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how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

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WILLYS

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What did Robin say to Batman before they entered the Batmobile? "Batman, I'm a necropheliac."

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Error 37.

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bob lost his camouflage bag. he never found it.

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What do you call a dog? A cat. What do you call a cat? A banana.

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What's green and red all over? That terminally ill child's vomit.

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Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

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Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

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what's body surfing? sounds dumb.

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How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

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Death by kayak

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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ur left leg is cristmas nd ur right leg is thanks giving can i vist

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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