Two muffins are in the oven. They don't say anything because muffins can't talk. The end.

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Q. Why dont people like rian mcreesh ? A. Because he smells bad and gives off a creepy vibe ...

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If the blue dog falls out of sample object, how many bananas does my mom eat? No, because markers can't talk

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Noooooooo...

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What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. I don't see why there should be more.

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How come the kid couldn't go to college Because he was black and couldn't afford it

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what's black and white and red all over? nothing... it's red

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Why did the hamster cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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what do u call a blonde in the libary? alexandra wallace

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Why was the giant centipede full? Because it just ate half a dozen purebred golden retriever puppies by hiding all day in the poopy newspapers and emerging at night to eat the defenseless baby dogs in their sleep. BUM BUM BUM KSSSH!

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What do you call Charlie Sheen when he's on drugs? Charlie Sheen.

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What is long, hard, and full of seamen? a school bus, if you consider children to be seamen

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Why was everyone screaming bloody murder? Their home team won

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do you have snow in your vagina? because i am going to plow you

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Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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What do you call a black person pimping out his bitches? a dog breeder.

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? cancer

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Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

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if you press the thumbs up button nyan cat is going to visit you tonight

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

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What did the home-less man eat for dinner last night? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops