what do you get when you combine sodium and hydroxide? sodium-hydroxide

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Yo Mama's so fat that she is at risk for diabetes

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Son: Mommy can I have some cookies? Mom: Sure, they're on the top shelf! Son: But I don't have any arms! Mom: No arms, no cookies!

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What do you do if you see a Mexican riding a bike? Say "Hello." It is polite.

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My friend just phoned me from the Boston marathon. He was being taken to the hospital due to being injured by the explosions and had to have his leg amputated.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a larger worm in your apple.

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What color is the orange? Grey, I'm color blind.

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Q: What's so funny about medical records? A: You're not the one dying.

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A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

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What scares little children and befriends their parents? A clown

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Whats more fun than swinging a baby around on a clothesline at 200 miles per hour ? Stopping it with a shovel

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What's more fun than nailing a baby to a wall? Pulling it off.

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Where do you go when you find a fork in the road? To the nearest restaurant.

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None of the sex jokes are not funny or not funny. They're just inappropriate.

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What did the Religious Education teacher teach on National Science Day? Religion, because that is the teacher's job.

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Knock knock Who's there? Boo AHHH A GHOST D:

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

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wat did one chicken say to the other bock bock

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Q: What do you call a dear with no eyes A: Nothing - call an animal cruelty service

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Q: So I don't get it. Do women actually like not having penises and testicles? Do they genuinely enjoy it? A: Silly boy. Women ADORE not having penises and testicles. You just can't get your mind around someone having different preferences in anatomy than you.

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just got AIDS, And soon so will you!

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The saying "When Pigs Fly" Can easily be canceled. Just tie a rocket and wings to it and let it go.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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