What starts with C and ends with UNT. Ciretrunt

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How do you make a chicken laugh. By showing it how to cross the road

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A hiker gets lost on a trail and ends up wondering deep into the woods. He comes upon an amish farm. He knocks on the door and an amish man answers. The hiker explains his predicament, and the amish man says "sure you can stay in barn, but promise me one thing, don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course I won't". He then goes to the barn. Right before the hiker falls asleep. The amish farmer comes in and says "make sure you don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course not". So the next morning the hiker is rested, well fed and is about to leave when the amish man approaches and says, "Thank you being decent and christian like."

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What has human male genitalia? A human male

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im jewish

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Two people walk into a bar, the third one ducked.

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A farmer goes out to the coop to feed the chickens. They're all dead.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: It doesn't matter, the lightbulb never went out in the first place.

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What do you get when you give a homeless man a sandwich? It thrown at the back of your head.

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a Mormon knocked on my front door three times, and i took three seconds to answer, whe shook hands for three seconds. how many dead kittens can fit in my blender?

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What do you call a tree on fire? A burning tree.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has Parkinson's Disease which causes his hands to shake uncontrollably thus making drawing anything relatively difficult and a perfect circle impossible.

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Why did Hitler cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways. Only after practicing proper safety procedure did he venture across the busy thoroughfare to retrieve his asthma medication from his car.

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What did the Atheist say in the church? His best friend's eulogy.

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What does a baseball and a T-Rex have in common? What? Neither of them is a carrot.

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What does a ghost get when he watches pornography? A boner

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why did the man come out of the closet? because the dark scares him and it smelled like moth balls

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Two guys were sitting in a pub.

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What did the man say to hitler? hi hitler.

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Dont drink and drive. You might spill some.

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what happened to the christian when he died? nothing because god isnt real.

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Where was little suzie the day after the house fire? At the hospital, being treated for minor burns.

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A man walks into a bar He has a water, he is sober

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A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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