A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man said to the bartender "I'll have a H2O, please." His friend said "Yeah, I'll have a H2O too." The bartended wasn't an idiot and was aware that he was in a bar, not a science lab, and handed them both a bottle of H2O. His friend still died.

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If you die, and have 5 cents in your pocket, does the toast still land jelly side down?

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Why did the black guy get arrested? Homicide.

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What did Obama do when he heard of Bin Ladins death? He informed the nation of what had happend.

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What's a four letter word that ends with "rape"? Stop.

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Life is like a box of chocolates, It doesn't last too long for fat people.

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Why doesn't Santa come in the Summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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What did the cowboy say to the alien? Nothing, this is a dream. Wake up.

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a guy walks down a street when he sees a bomb he walks away

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Humpty dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty dumpty had a big fall. All the king's horses and all the king's men did not come to help him because the United States does not have a patriarchal system of government.

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Why dont you ask the chicken.

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LAMBORGHINI MERCY, YO CHICK SHE SO THIRSTY! IM IN THAT 2 SEAT LAMBO WITH YO GIRL... and I'm giving her some Gatorade because it'll quench her thirst but I'm making sure she doesn't spill on my seats because it's new, k

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What's better than winning the lottery? Winning it twice.

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A man was driving to work when he realized he hadn't told his wife happy anniversary. He turned the car around to head back home only to remember that their anniversary was on Friday, not Thursday. The man shared some nervous laughter with himself as the radio played in the background. He continued on toward work and had a run of the mill day meeting with potential clients.

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What do you get when you put a dead baby and some nails in a blender? A dead baby and some nails

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why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, you tell me.

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Whats the difference between a duck? Yellow bills.

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A tourist is hungry, so he asks a stranger to point him to the nearest McDonald's. The stranger points to the McDonald's across the street. As the tourist crosses the street, he gets hit by a car AND DIES. McDonald's kills.

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Jess Burns

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

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women's lacrosse.

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NEVER

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Roses are flowers jordan does it for hours xxxxif ya know what i mean

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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