Knock knock Get off my porch homo

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Jeez Bill, how drunk was I last night? You took my pet parakeet, threw it at my daughter's piggy bank and yelled "ANGRY BIRDS!!!!"

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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a black guy, mexican guy, and asian guy race to hop over a window. Who was the LAST one to hop it? the mexican because he had to clean it first.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a buddhist monk walk into a bar. The bartender says " What are you drinking?"

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David: Hey Bill. Do you know what the most common place for a Democrat to work is? Bill: No. David: An insane Asylum, so they can be with their friends and family. David: Do you know what the most common place for a black person to work is? Bill: No. David: A prison, so they can be with their friends and family. David: Do you know what the most common place for a 20th centrury undercover German Jew to work is? Bill: No. David: A morge, so they can be with their friends and family. David: Do you know what the most common place for a Scientologist to work is? Bill: No. David: With Democrats. (Writen by Ben, avid Anti-Scienctologist)

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what's funnier than the holocaust. If it happened again.

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i'm hard

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How many inches of snow are there when the fireplace burns for 10 minutes? Red chickens

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

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what will hit the ground first an apple or Obama The apple, obama was stopped by a rope

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Violets are blue and/or violet Roses are red so's my blood, see?

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What did the customer say to the waiter when he found a fly in his soup? Sorry to bother you on your break, but why didn't I get a fly in MY soup?

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Why did the boy throw the clock out of the window? Because it was broken.

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why was the pineapple bullied at school? cuz it was a pineapple duhhhhhhh

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What did the baby do when it crossed the rode? It didn't get across it got hit by a car.

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In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

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What did the kid tell his father? Go away, I'm watching elmo!

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Why was the boy crying in public with no clothes on? Because he had no clothes on in public.

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In Soviet Russia, you drive the car, fill it up with gas, and park it. Just like in America.

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A family walks into a talent agency. Talen agent says "Okay, what's your act called?" Dad replies "The Aristocrats!"

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Knock Knock Knock" "Knock knock Knock who?" "Just let me in, you twat, it's freezing out here!"

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What did the black kid say to the white kid My parents are slaves

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what did one tree say to the other spruce up actually nothing because trees can't talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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