A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Knock Knock!! Who's there? The Bailiffs, now get out.

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If Bob has 65 sweets and he eats 57 how many does he have? Bob has diabetes. He has high blood sugar, either because the body does not produce enough insulin, or because cells do not respond to the insulin that is produced.

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

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Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

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What happened to the lady living in the present, crossing a street? Let's watch her and find out.

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What did Timmothy get when he got back from his vacation in a tropical destination? Malaria.

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What sits on a shelf and says hey im a book? A person who thinks hes a book.

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Justing Bieber walks in a bar. Everyone shoots him.

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Q: Why did the boy not laugh at the Anti Joke? A: Because he has no sense of humor

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Never go into your parents room with a blacklight.. -Ryan Vallee

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Your mum is such a slut, I'd reccomend she seeks psychiatric help, as her deviant promiscuity is clearly a phsical manifestation of some deep rooted psychological disfunction. We all wish her well.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Enough.

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Why did the girl fall off of her highchair? Her father threw an axe at her.

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Why did the man steal the little girl? He didn't. She was his daughter and they were driving home after picking up the groceries.

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A cow and a whale are swimming in the sea when they both realize this is Vietnam and they were really chimps

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u know whats a crime? rape

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What did the man say before he died? I am going to die.

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Stacey has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Stacey.

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Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

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Why did Sally's ice cream melt? She was on fire.

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My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse then two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Three bee stings.

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"I'm terrible at writing jokes." -80% of the people on here.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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