Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

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What did one butthole say to the other butthole? I'm actually not sure. I wasn't there when he said it.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? This site.

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Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

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Why did the mexican go back to mexico? He grew up there

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How do you earn a bunch of money all at once? Walk into Hot Topic and say "I have knives for sale!"

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Roses are brown Violets are brown who the hell took a shit in my garden?

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How to shrink China's population in a few minutes? Nuke them all, simple.

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Why did the black man offer the girl flowers? It was his niece's birthday.

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I have a dirty joke. Yesterday I fell in the mud.

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I will grant you one wish, but it sure as hell isn't coming true!

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What do you get when two black men walk into a bar? A few salesmen celebrating their recent pay raise.

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A man walks into a house, and the next day was taken to the hospital for a minor concussion and a possible vision deficiency.

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Q: Whats different about pizza and jewish people? A: Pizzas don't scream in the oven.

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Why doesn't Lucinda have a penis? Because she's Mexican.

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whats the strongest muscle the man who can't talk has. definatly not his mouth

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wh did a man all of his bike? It was a wet and slippery day, he had a lack of control and concentration

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesnt scream when you put it in the oven!

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Whats worse than finding an actual joke on anti-jokes? A.I.D.S.

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A blond, a brunet, and a red head jumped off a bridge. Which one hit the ground first? In order to solve this problem you would first need to figure out witch of the three had more of a body mass. Then you would need to calculate the accretion in case one brought along a cow. However, in the end the outcome is always the same: 3 dead bodies on impact and 3 mourning families.

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Why was Michael Jackson so bad at dancing? Because he had a broken leg.

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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What's the difference between a man and a woman? Generally speaking- biology, except in cases of transexuality.

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What did the (real) wrestler say to the U.F.C guy? Probably something nice because most U.F.C fighters were wrestlers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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