Violets are blue and/or violet Roses are red so's my blood, see?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what's funnier than the holocaust. If it happened again.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How many inches of snow are there when the fireplace burns for 10 minutes? Red chickens

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was Billy's grandma not around for Thanksgiving? Because she's dead

thumb_up thumb_down -2

David: Hey Bill. Do you know what the most common place for a Democrat to work is? Bill: No. David: An insane Asylum, so they can be with their friends and family. David: Do you know what the most common place for a black person to work is? Bill: No. David: A prison, so they can be with their friends and family. David: Do you know what the most common place for a 20th centrury undercover German Jew to work is? Bill: No. David: A morge, so they can be with their friends and family. David: Do you know what the most common place for a Scientologist to work is? Bill: No. David: With Democrats. (Writen by Ben, avid Anti-Scienctologist)

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A priest, a rabbi, and a buddhist monk walk into a bar. The bartender says " What are you drinking?"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Jeez Bill, how drunk was I last night? You took my pet parakeet, threw it at my daughter's piggy bank and yelled "ANGRY BIRDS!!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

a black guy, mexican guy, and asian guy race to hop over a window. Who was the LAST one to hop it? the mexican because he had to clean it first.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Two horses were discussing their racing records. The first said, "In my whole life I had won ten races." The second horse says, "Well, I've won twelve of those!" A greyhound trotting by chimes in, "Not bragging guys, but in my career, I've won twenty!" "Unbelievable!" exclaimed both horses. "It's a talking dog!"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: Why did the Asian man get fired from his job? A: He sexually assaulted his co-workers

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you punish Helen Keller You don't, she's dead

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: What's worse than ten babies stapled to one tree? A: One baby stapled to ten trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to commit suicide through vehicular manslaughter and knew that the average human being would not be able to stop before it was too late.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock Knock The guy opens the door

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Well, I feel that I've stepped outside my comfort zone.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man walked in to a store and asked for four candles. The storeman brought some fork handles and placed them on the counter. The customer said "No... 'Four Candles' a rather amusing sketch performed by The Two Ronnies, a comedy double act in the 1970s."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

69, Is funny because the numbers are backwards

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was the girl unhappy with her male teacher? Because he gave her a bad grade...and raped her the night before.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

how do you make a plumber cry? pull up his pants....

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse then says nothing because horses cannot talk, only humans can talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops