- Anti Joke

Roses are red, Violets are violet.

Why do thieves shower before undertaking a robbery? Probably part of their morning routine.

"knock knock" "who's there" no answer Opens door to find dead wife lying on doorstep with 'lol' stamped on forehead

Q: What happens after you have sex with Michelle Obama? A: You wake up and kill yourself.

- i send you a friend request on facebook - okay

Whats worse then dieing and going to hell? Waking up and going to school.

[Insert anti-joke here]

Violets are blue and/or violet Roses are red so's my blood, see?

One, two, three, four and five

whats on object, almost tube like that squirts thick white liquid from the top elmer's glue

A kid finds a bag of heroine. He is a good Samaritan and asks the nearest junkie if it belonged to him.

What is the difference between Julis Ceaser, and the moon? The moon is covered in rocks and craters, and Julis Ceaser is DEAD

A chink walks into a bar. She is spotted by the secret police and instantly deported. Vote UKIP

why was 6 afraid of 7? because seven is a murdering sociopath

why did the cow cross the road because pigs were not flying i had to write it hurts

Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

why Is the teen's sock crusty? he stepped in the glue that his little sister was using for her art project.

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What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

What did the red fish say to the blue fish? Nothing fish can't talk.

Why was Sally sad? She was the only survivor of a plane crash that killed her entire family.

a horse walks into a bar. Noticing the potentially dangerous situation everyone leaves, the bartender calls RSPCA who come and retrieve the horse and order is restored.

What do you call an armless legless man swimming? Dead

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops