A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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When life gives you lemons......you should be really scared because life shouldnt be giving you anything....espically lemons so if life offers you lemons you better run

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What is worse than 10 babys in 1 garbage can? 1 baby in 10 garbage cans.

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What do you call a alcaholic walking down the street..... Roadkill

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A man was shot. He died.

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What did the father say to his child Christmas morning? you're adopted

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There once was a man from Peru, he couldn't fit into his shoe. He went to Brazil bought a big. Swallowed it and died.

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why did the monkey fall out of a tree?? a snail threw a refridgerator at him

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Why did the Mexican jump of the roof? Because he had a serious meth addiction that was destroying his family and he could not live with the awful things he did to get his fix.

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What's old, silver, and smells like old cheese? A fork with old cheese on it.

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WHat did the Somalian girl get for Christmas? AIDS

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I'm hungry.

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What do you call a girl who can run faster than me? Virgin

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Why do giraffes have long necks? So they can reach higher, un-eaten leaves.

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why didnt the old man go to his sons birthday he died.........nah i lied he went went

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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im trying to thing of a good joke...oh wait i got one but only one... ok ready?...oh wait...i forgot it again

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What's worse than seeing another antijoke with "The Holocaust" punchline repeated? The Holocaust.

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Why do you have to write a conclusion at the end of your paper? So people dont have to read the whole thing.

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When Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the world, He broke his foot because every human being that kicks such a solid structure would break their foot.

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will you like this joke my sources say no

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A: Knock Knock B: 7

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping out. After they set up their tent and get inside to go to sleep, they look up at the stars. Holmes asks Watson to make a deduction. "Well, Holmes, I think it's highly probable that other planets outside our own, among those many stars up there, could have sentient life." Holmes points up and says, "Someone stole our tent, you idiot."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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