Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

Why did grandma drop the dish? She had a heart attack and died, falling to the ground and thus bringing the plate with her to the floor.

How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

Why did the chicken cro- Oh. He got run over.

Four blondes began their road trip from NYC to Europe and promptly drowned.

Why did the child say he had been a ubused. Answer: because he had been.

What is frowned upon no matter what country you're in? Sex on a plane.

A horse and a penguin and a kangaroo come into a bar and order drinks from the bartender, who later gets fired for taking acid while working.

Why did the bird fall out of the sky? It had no wings.

Why does the black man take drugs. Because he is very sick.

haiku for you ladies and gents My mother once said, "Slow and steady wins the race" She died in a fire.

What did Marshawn Lynch say? Yeah

what do you give a little girl with no arms no legs and who lives in a orfanidge for christmas?.................................... nothing because no parent wants a freak kid

That's not mine! it's bigger and blacker! ...where have i heard this before?

*Knock knock* "Who's there?" "Would you mind turning your music down a bit please? I have reports to write."

Why was the boy afraid? Because he had just seen his dog get ran over by a tractor

What did Robin do in between crime fighting? He had a paper route.

When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was booted into the air by a screaming Russian osselot.

Why can't you teach drivers ed and sex ed at the same time in Iraq? The camel would get tired.

Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

Duncan walks into a bar and is greeted by his friends Eric and Tom. Duncan tells them that his wife left and took the kids. Duncan then goes home and hangs himself.

What do you call black people in a pool? Healthy

A muslim gets on an airplane and takes his seat. The plane lands safely and he enjoys his vacation in Florida.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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