How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the fridge door and place the elephant inside. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the fridge door, remove the elephant, and place the giraffe inside. There is a party at the zoo. All of the zoo animals attend, except one. Which one? The giraffe, because he is in the fridge.

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Why couldn't Suzie put on her boots? Because she got her legs amputated.

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How many gays does it take to change a lightbulb? It's COMPLETELY circumstantial.

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a horse walks into a bar the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse does not say anything because its a horse and horses cannot talk.

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I took my father out last night. We went to the Olive Garden.

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Roses are red, violets are blue; So give me head, or I queue you!

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What did one skeleton say to the other? Nothing... Skeletons don't have vocal cords

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What is the difference between a circle and a cylinder? dunno

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How many dead babies can fit in a barrel? 4 1/2

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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Dad, why do people say mom is a nympho? No idea son, try asking one of your other dads.

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What do you call a Black man sweeping the floor? A janitor.

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What's the difference between a hipster and a steaming pile of shit? Many things.

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Billy: You're so ugly you made an onion cry! Jack: I'm rubber and you are glue, whatever you say bounces back and sticks to you. Billy was so upset at what he said and decided to leave.

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Obama holds the most records for Multikills with Drones. Mu-mu-muuuultiiikilllll.

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One spooky halloween night, three lonely outcasts walk down a dark street, no longer begging for candy. A cold wind blows through the night air and something rustles in a nearby bush one kid walks over to the bush and picks up his dog "OH THERE YOU ARE, BUDDY!"

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I'm at a payphone. Though I'm out of change so I'm unable to call my girlfriend and break up with her.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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A man walks into a bar. His family has died in a tragic accident and he is trying to drink down the pain.

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ASUS Live Update has stopped working.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? On average 2,950, however, this has not been properly tested due to obvious reasons.

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an irishman an american and a jihadist get a plane were did they go right through my house

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A white horse walks into a bar and orders a bitter. The bartender says "Hey, do you know we've got a drink named after you?" The horse says; "Eeek! A talking cow."

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Q: What's black and blue and is all over Timmy's mother? A: The bruises his father gave her when he came home drunk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops