why does everyone like this website? ... because every other joke a little baby is dying.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Who's worse: Ghandi or Hitler Answer: Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: Why did the black man die poor? A: Because he was financially irresponsible and wasted the millions left to him by his father fueling his alcohol addiction, slowly grinding away at his organs until he died of cirrhosis of the liver.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Pickup line: Hey babe, do you know what time it is? Because I don't wanna be late for class and if you told the time, it will surely help me because I'll be able to arrive early at my class not to mention it would greatly improve my punctuality efforts to help me pass the class this semester. Geez, I remember back in middle school there was a guy name Billy Jones and he used to always be late for class. His name was Billy but we called him Bill. Bill was his nickname but his real name was Billy. Anyways, he was always late for class because he would always make the best barbecue ribs in town.... (45 minutes later...) ....and I told Bill, "Man, if you were to just ask what time it was it would greatly help you in arriving to class early." And he was was like "I know but..."And then I cut him off and I said "But nothing. I don't care what kind of barbecue ribs you make, you just can't do that." So there I was, me and him, sitting down and .... (3 hours later...) ...it was awesome. Boy, I remember back in the early 90's when I was at elementary school, it was a stormy weather and we had to go to class. That's when I met Clarissa. She was a really nice girl and I remember there was a time when... (to be continued....)

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Look down at your keyboard. Notice that U and I are together? <3 Also notice that J and K are together too!:P

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Who created Apple? Steve jobs.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what do you call a girl with a pumpkin spice coffee in her hands? Jenifer

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Recycled jokes are about as good as a scalar roundabout... [L]

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why can't you fit 100 oranges in a bathtub? Because motorcycles don't have doors

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's a bench painted red white and blue all over? An American BENCH.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Patient: I thonk I'm gonna die Doctor: well will ya hurry up and die already? I've got to treat a kid with a paper cut.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Person 1: Happy Halloween! Person 2: Hey, I'm Jewish

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the kid with turrets CHEESE! say to his mom.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the farmer say to little susie? I have a gun. Get in the car and dont scream or i will kill you

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the boy throw his alarm clock out of the window? Because he was angry at the alarm going off

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why didn't the pregnant, pro-choice woman have an abortion? It was a planned pregnancy.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call an old man in his underwear with a bag of pepper on his back while licking pebbles off the sidewalk? Senile.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A Christian and an Atheist are in a bar, the Christian turns to the Atheist and says "If you don't believe in god you will go to hell." The Atheist replies "Your Mom doesn't believe in god." And then turns around to order another drink.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

"Doctor, doctor, I am having a hard time controlling my muscles!" "It's Lesche-Nyhan Syndrome, this is a genetic terminal illness...i'm sorry."

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the bank clerk say to the robber when he demanded all the money in the drawer? "Okay."

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops