hi little boy you want some candy i dont know do you want some candy you creeper

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Why cant Sally ride her bike? Because she has ceribal pausly

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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Why did Little Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Whats pink and silver and runs into walls? A baby with forks in its eyes. Whats green and silver and sits in a corner? The same baby three weeks later.

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Whats black and blue and red all over? An infant after its been beaten with a bat.

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awkies when jamie and jacob hook up, and u have to tell the dog..i maen danni that this has been going on for 2 months

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How do you wake up lady gaga? You set her alarm clock for a reasonable hour.

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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How do you know when you have had too much to drink? When you ran over 7 pedestrians and are lying in the back of a police vehicle

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what did the person with yellow teeth and the person with white teeth have in common? they have a nose.

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What do Muslims have for breakfast? Corn Flakes.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite

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your in court a woman police officer says anything you say can and will be held against you. the man replies titty

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What do you call an asian jumping off of a building? A suicide victim.

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A. why'd the chicken cross the road? B.a dog got hit by a bus.

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HOw do u DEFeat thE hatErsz shitted on em

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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What's blue and can't read? The Pacific Ocean

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How do you rape someone? No, its a question. I don't know the best way to go about this.

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I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket. He said: "Hey, I wonder how far I can kick this bucket."

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ADAM SAS IS A GREAT GUY!

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Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops