Whats black and blue and red all over? An infant after its been beaten with a bat.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? You set her alarm clock for a reasonable hour.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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How do you know when you have had too much to drink? When you ran over 7 pedestrians and are lying in the back of a police vehicle

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what did the person with yellow teeth and the person with white teeth have in common? they have a nose.

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What do you call an asian jumping off of a building? A suicide victim.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite

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What do Muslims have for breakfast? Corn Flakes.

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A. why'd the chicken cross the road? B.a dog got hit by a bus.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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HOw do u DEFeat thE hatErsz shitted on em

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I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket. He said: "Hey, I wonder how far I can kick this bucket."

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Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

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How do you rape someone? No, its a question. I don't know the best way to go about this.

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What's blue and can't read? The Pacific Ocean

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Why did Abraham Lincoln fall asleep at the movie? He was shot several times in the back of the head.

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Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

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Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

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rodents are bed violents are glue i have lysdexia and short attention spa

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ADAM SAS IS A GREAT GUY!

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How does a Welshman take a shit? Like anyone other human being does.

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what did the cat say to the potato? meow

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I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops