What do you call a fat cat? Nothing if you are a good person

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like funny jokes but I tend to ruin the punchline by just talking too much and that's probably why no one likes me and...

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What is the similarity between an elephant and a grape? Absolutely nothing. One is an animal, while the other is a fruit.

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give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well he graduated in four years with a degree in chemical engineering. He worked hard all four years in order to keep his scholarship to the university. Now he leads a very successful life and lives in a large house with his wife and two children.

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A blode walks into a bar, She gets her hair dyed brown and is later presumed smarter due to a the genral public being steriotipical.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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What did the dog say to the tree? Bark.

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You know whats annoying? Steve

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When life gives you lemons, chuck them at someone's face!

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Man one: Why does the moon look like a face? Man two: I don't know, why? Man one: I don't know either, that's why i asked....

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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How many times have I said the word shingles? twelve.

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whats the difrence between santa clause and a jew santa goes down the chimney

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You know you're a redneck when you come from a rural area and behave as such.

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A man walks into a chiropractor. The chiropractor asked whats wrong with you? The man replies My boner has scoliosis.

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what is your moms favorite website? Wait did I say mom. Oh I'm not very sorry.

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I've got a dig bick. You that read wrong. You also read the second sentence wrong.

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Mum did you make my milkshake? No, I didn't son, but your father did. Fther's dead. I know.

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I like to give help to people, expecting that they will be my slaves for life.

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A man gets a paternity test. It's better than beating his wife senseless due to his own insecurity.

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whats the difference between this joke and other jokes other jokes have a punch line

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3 guys walks into a park. Which one was holding the beer? None, all 3 guys were elementary kids

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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