Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because it is humanly impossible to draw a perfect circle.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you punish Hellen Keller Move the furniture around

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red Violets are blue I am a gardener

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A hard-working man, in his early forties with slightly graying hair, arrives to work earlier every day. He values integrity and dedication. His loving wife is proud of his accomplishments and her favorite part of the day is when he arrives home from a day at the office. He is close friends with the Director of HR, because he believes that we all should be respected and treated fairly on the job. Today, there is a board meeting, which he prepared for extensively, because he cares deeply about what happens to this great company. His boss greets him after the meeting is done and says, "Great job, that presentation was even better than yours usually are." It was a very long meeting, so they both end up going to the Men's Room. What does he say when his boss corners him near the urinals and demands sex? Nothing. He doesn't like to talk during sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worst than being stung by a bee? being stung by two bees. what's worst than that? The Holocaust. What's worst than that? being stung by three bees.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why can't a T-rex clap its hands? It's extinct.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q. What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A. Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +6

there are three types of people in this world, those who can't count, and those who can. STFU, you corny loser

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what happened to the little girl when she crossed the line she was shot. shes mexican

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Your mum is such a slut, I'd reccomend she seeks psychiatric help, as her deviant promiscuity is clearly a phsical manifestation of some deep rooted psychological disfunction. We all wish her well.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did Bob say at Fred's house? "I know where Fred lives."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you steal from a sushi buffet? You say please.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did he chicken cross the road? The suicide rate in chickens has gone up 50% in the past year alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the difference between a blonde and a microwave? If you don't know the difference you need a psychiatrist.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you make etheopians rave ? glue bread to the roof

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is 1 + 1 equal to? 2, because if you have one orange and if you add another orange, you will have 2 oranges, therefore 1 plus 1 is 2.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what does 2+2equals? i think its 3 but i could be wrong

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a dog with no legs? What ever you want, its still not going to come.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what did Shivank say to Ricky? "you suck dick" HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Black people having a Job.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops