Why couldn't the morbidly obese man get on a cruise ship? He didn't have a ticket.

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Your mother is so large she finds it difficult to fit into regular sized clothing

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Where does a one-legged waitress work? Wherever she can get good health insurance.

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roses are red violets are blue i'm a schizophrenic and so am i

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What do you get when you see a black man writing? A man devoted to getting a education.

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What's the difference between cancer and my grandmother? She doesn't have cancer.

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whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping cart? One holds groceries. The other molests small children.

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Why did the chiken cross the road? It didn't, J-walking is against the law.

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what's worse than 24? 6 million.

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Why do bats fly in circles? They're mentally retarded.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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flashback 2010 bears vs. packers vs. bears- why did'nt the packers want to go to soldier field? because they didnt want to pass another 6 flags!

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Why did t chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock, knock. Who's there? The chicken

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got run over on the way there.

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Roses are red, Violates are blue. I have an erection, and its lasted more then three hours

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Whats funnier than a dead baby? a dead baby in a clown costume!!!

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yo mommas so poor she doesn't live in a house

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

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Hello! I am Harry Potter, and i will be teaching you pottery today! Yes, call me Mr. Pottery!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it.

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If a banana is a vegetable, how come your mother gets confused when I stick pretzels in my butthole?

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What's black, white, and can't turn around in a phone booth? A nun with a javelin through her chest.

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What is the best time to go to the dentist? When you have a toothache

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops