What did the little boy say before he succumbed to cancer? Nothing. It was too painful.

how did the kenyan get away from the cop He didnt he got arrested

Whats worse than standing on lego? Rebecca black. whats worse than Rebecca Black? Justin Bieber. Whats worse than justin Bieber? Standing on a baby that isnt yours.

How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But all the replacements are high-tolerance, long-life and non-dimmable.

Why was Jimi's mom sad? Because Jimi suddenly fell to the floor clenching his neck while saying "I'm Dying!"

Why was Joseph Kony at a primary school ? It was 3 o'clock and his children had just finished a long hard day learning to read and right and it was his turn to pick them up after him and misses Kony developed a schedule one late night after the odd glass of wine or two.

Q. How do you know when you've had too much too drink? A. Your dead(No because when your dead you can't think.)

An Englishman, an Irishman, a Frenchman, a Scottish man, an Australian, a German, a Spaniard, an Icelandic man, a Norwegian, a Swede, a Dane, an Italian, a Morrocan, an American, an Algerian, an Egyptian, a Syrian, an Israelite, a Chinese man, a Russian, a Japanese man, an Indian and a Brazilian all walk into a bar. It was a large bar.

What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer

Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

How did the man escape the giant scorpion? He didn't he watched as his family died and waited for his demise crying in the corner of the scorpion's layer

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

God Nero, Marry me now! I removed the nose thingie but it wont stop.

You know what's good for shoulder pain? If you ice on for 20 minutes then off for 20 minutes repetitively three times a day

Why did the little boy die? His mother got an abortion...

Do you want to hear a joke, Women's rights

How do you make a fat man cry? You call him fat.

What did the mexican say to the other mexican? Lets go get some tacos.

Why didn't the skeleton go to his party? Because he used to be alive and was burned to death by an overturned truck carrying chemical's so his family canceled the party to organise the funeral.

How do you stop the neighbors from calling the police when you play your music too loud? Kill them and use their bodies as noise insulation

Q: What did the Rabbi say to the butcher? A: "Do you have the time?"

What did the white man say to the black man? Nice Pants

Black people stink of shite!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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