A kid goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor! it hurts when I do this!" The Doctor says, "Well, because you have been diagnosed with ALD, and to make matters worse you are allergic to rapeseed oil" The child then cries because he will never live past 40 years old

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

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Have you heard the one about the fat woman and the dead baby? The woman was actually pregnant, not fat, and just had a miscarriage.

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What was the black woman doing in the kitchen? She was simply washing her hands after eating dinner.

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What did one Japanese man say to the other? I don't know, I don't speak Japanese.

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What's the difference between a black person and cancer? If you don't know already, you should really question your countries education system and your parents upbringing.

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Well no, thats not true, sorry, I mean I GET THAT ALL THE FUCKING TIME!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No reason.

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Knock knock Who's there? Overused punchline Overused punchline who? The Holocaust.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

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what do you call a dumb blonde with no arms? Her name because she will not respond to anything else

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What do an airplane and a grape have in common? They both have wings, except the grape.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

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how do you kill a baby? introduce it to alice cooper

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How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

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What is pink and smells like tuna? Salmon

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Refridgerator.

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knock knock? come in

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MR MCANN WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR PUBES ?

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar. The rabbi says "ow my head"

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All of these jokes are about white people

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics ? Not being disabled

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Roses are red, my name is Dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave

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there's a worm in my lime at least it doesn't have scurvy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops