What do you call a black man with a peg leg? Disabled

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

OMG THIS ACTUALLY WORKS! 1. Hold your breath for 2 mins 2. Die

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Three girls are walking in the woods they see tracks one thinks it is a bear the other thinks it is a deer the last one thinks it is a lion They all argue till they get hit by a train and realized they were train tracks

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. wow i missed the entire purpose of this.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Where does a one-legged waitress work? Wherever she can get good health insurance.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Do you know what would happen if Hitler was still alive today. Nothing he's not.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q. Why couldn't Billy see the pirate movie? A. Because his mom didn't let him.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

KNOCK KNOCK who's there? OUCH! what's your door knob made of? nails?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did grandpa climb the phone pole with bananas in a backpack? He has a debilitating disease. He is slowly losing touch with reality.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other... Uh oh. A car just ran it over.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man asks a young boy to get in his van. The kid, being very well-educated tells the man he cannot talk to strangers. So, the man tells the kid he understands, and drives away to another nearby child.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's worse than finding 16 dead babies in a tree? Finding 1 dead baby in 16 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Yo momma so fat, when she walks she wakes the dead -Ryan Vallee

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why cant stevie wonder read? Because he is blind

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did suzy get in the car? She wanted to go somewhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call it when a cigarette is brown instead of white? A cigarette that is or has been damp so that the nicotine was able to bleed into the paper and dye it.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why do black people eat Kentucky Fried Chicken? Because there is Protein in chicken and without protein their bodies would succumb to such diseases as Kwashiorkor and Cachexia.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why can't black people swim? Because there are sharks in the lake.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops